Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The African Coming Out Effect

There has been a lot of topics about sexuality and family. I know the strength and power family plays in the African culture, it is one that brings us to a cross road when it comes to our sexuality. The main concern about being open is not about us but how would our family be treated. This is common irrespective of where in the world they are, they still carry the same values. They are more concerned about what would people say about then than how you would be accepted within the family. There are things to consider when these issues come up:
1. It is important to know that as it took you time to accept who you are, so would it take time for them to accept the fact about who you are.
2. Family would eventually come around and accept you but rarely would they accept you fully. Some would let you know that they love you but do not fully accept your way of life.
3. There would be the spiritual phase, this would happen immediately when they would seek spiritual help to "cleanse" you. This stage depends strongly on your age and your family. 
4. This is particular to young folks they might see it as a "phase" that you might fade out from. This is where i try and talk to people, because it is very sensitive it causes a lot of confusion in one minds and if care is not taking might lead to one being homophobic while being homosexual.
5. The adults in this period would have the "opposite sex" pressure. Now what i mean is when the family believes that if she/he gets married and has sex with the opposite sex the situation would stop. In some cases they bring about forced marriage.
6. They might tell you to leave the house and do not return and thinking you would be repentive and come and apologize saying you are now straight.
(to be continued)

PS: No matter what you go through push hard and be determined to be successful in what you do.